LOVE OR APATHY

If you're in a relationship and have been in one for a while, that would mean longer than a year, you can probably remember how your heart quickened when you saw your loved one. You might even be one of the people who say that they knew as soon as they saw their partner that he/she was the one. And weren't the kisses divine. And the talking, my my it seemed like you'd never run out of things to talk about. You were so happy, you couldn't believe how happy you were and you believed you would be in love with that special person forever. For those of you who didn't eat that bitter pill of disillusionment and walk away, who are still together but feeling like that old spark just isn't there anymore. Where did those kisses on the back of the neck go, those torrid nights, those little things like discovering  a love note on the counter upon awakening? You know, the attention to detail, groomed and perfumed, dressed well and not in fifteen year old sweats and tennis shoes even the Goodwill wouldn't accept. How about those sexy little things that are sexy little things if you're...

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POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Positive emotions in early life and longevity: findings from the nun study. Danner DD, Snowdon DA, Friesen WV. Source: Department of Preventive Medicine and Sanders-Brown Center on Aging, College of Medicine, University of Kentucky, Lexington 40536-0230, USA. dddann00@uky.edu Abstract Handwritten autobiographies from 180 Catholic nuns, composed when participants were a mean age of 22 years, were scored for emotional content and related to survival during ages 75 to 95. A strong inverse association was found between positive emotional content in these writings and risk of mortality in late life (p < .001). As the quartile ranking of positive emotion in early life increased, there was a stepwise decrease in risk of mortality resulting in a 2.5-fold difference between the lowest and highest quartiles. Positive emotional content in early-life autobiographies was strongly associated with longevity 6 decades later. Underlying mechanisms of balanced emotional states are discussed. PMID: 11374751 OK, now that you've finished with all the nun jokes and/or Catholic jokes, think about this: It means you could live longer, literally, by having a positive attitude about your life. I've never ascribed to the "airy fairy" approach to living so I don't sweep negative energy out of my office by burning...

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ARE YOU LISTENING?

When in a brand new relationship, isn't it amazing how much you have to say to each other, how you listen carefully so you can hear what your new love has to say, how careful you are not to interrupt, giving thought and consideration to your responses? And don't you feel heard and validated? Doesn't your new love make you feel good because he/she is so "into you." If you accidentally interrupt you are quick to apologize and wait for them to finish what they were saying and sometimes he/she tells you to go on, that they were finished, because they want to show you how polite and respectful they are of your feelings, to show you that they care about you and don't consider you rude for breaking in because that, well, that's just what happens sometimes when enthusiasm abounds. Now, fast forward that very same relationship five, ten years and notice how you are preparing what you're going to say next or remembering what it was you wanted to say that might not have anything to do with what your partner is talking about while your partner is trying to communicate something to you. If the discussion is...

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Change Your Experiences by Changing The Way You Think

What’s different about those two scenarios? In the first one you created what you anticipated would happen by your behavior and attitude. In the second one you didn’t create a negative self-fulfilling prophecy, rather you created a positive experience and you’re happy that you didn’t waste time on negativity.             This description of an experience is just an example. You can apply the same principles to any situation you’re in. Notice yourself and whether or not you’re experiencing cognitive distortions like “He/she is never any fun so I won’t have fun tonight.” You won’t have fun because you don’t expect to and your energy, attitude, and behavior will reflect that and you’ll create what you already thought would happen before it even happened. 2.  What you believe about something is what will cause the consequence not the action.             This is part of Albert Ellis’ theory of rational emotive therapy. He called it the A B Cs of Rational Emotive Therapy.             He believed that it wasn’t the action (having to change your shirt before you went out) that caused the consequence. He said it’s what you believe about the action that will cause the consequence. In other words, if...

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ANXIETY A SYMPTOM OF DEPRESSION?

Yes, anxiety and irritability are common symptoms of depression. People are surprised when I suggest they are depressed because they don't feel lethargic or sad but feel restless and anxious. Read more about it here:https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/depression/symptomsAll posts unless reposts are copyrighted by MJ Klimenko and can't be duplicated or copied without permission of the author.

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