Post Valentine News

Well, Valentines Day is over for another year. Some of you were pleased and happy by the end of that day. Some of you were miserable and sad or angry. Here's an interesting article about The Art of Charm. More articles like this could make the holiday brighter for some of next year's sad women. It's annoying to navigate all of the ads but the article is worth reading. You might have to click on the fireworks to get the article. "The science of what makes girls fall in love isn’t a magic spell or a Jedi mind trick. It’s the simple act of paying attention to habits, behaviors, and preferences with an eye toward the role science plays in affairs of the heart. You can’t hack into her brain and make her fall in love with you, but you can use your knowledge of how the brain works to nurture and deepen attraction that’s already there." Read more at the TheArtofCharm.com here:

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Men’s Sexual Issues

Many men experience some form of sexual difficulty during their life span. Erectile dysfunction can happen to a young man or an old man. It's not often discussed between partners nor is it even discussed much by friends. There's unnecessary shame attached to having ED, which is why it's excluded from conversations. Here is an interesting article that describes the different issues and treatments: https://www.uptodate.com/contents/sexual-problems-in-men-beyond-the-basics  

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Step-Families and Triangulation in General

In Family Systems Theory, triangulation is when any two people form a stronger bond with each other against a third person. There are so many family combinations of mom/mom or mom/dad or dad/dad or grandma/dad and so on that I couldn’t possibly address all of them. When two nouns are needed, I’m going to use mom and dad. When just one noun is required, I’ll say the person, but if it’s two, I’ll use mom, dad, and child/ren. You can apply your own labels suitable for your family system once you see the pattern. Here is a list of some of the possibilities: Child and mom form a stronger alliance than mom’s alliance with dad, which drives dad away. One spouse, after the divorce, deliberately communicates messages to the child that indicate the other parent is inferior or the first parent is so much better, loves the child more, etc. A child cultivates a relationship with the biological parent and shuns the stepparent. A stepparent shuns the child and cultivates her relationship with her new partner. Grandma and child against grandma’s child, the parent. This example covers much of what triangulation is all about. It is a family system where...

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Do You Remember Your Life? Probably Not.

“When you feel happy, really happy, it somehow seems that you’ve always been happy and that you’ll always be happy. The same is often true when you feel sad, or lonely, or depressed, or broke, or sick, or scared. Something, perhaps, to remember.” —Notes From The Universe It's bad enough to feel depressed, anxious, insecure, jealous, fearful, without believing you've been this way more often than not during your lifetime. How often has someone told you they were born to be unhappy or to have problems or some version of those that indicate the person's perception of themselves and their lives is very negative? With few exceptions they're probably wrong. Science and brain imaging are now able to prove that people will remember negative and unhappy events far more than they will remember happy or pleasant things. Your life may not have unfolded the way you remember it. In fact, it's likely that it didn't because you remember the bad and aren't able to retrieve the good from your past. I've witnessed this phenomenon many times over my years as a psychotherapist. A client comes in having had a negative experience the previous week and during their session they will...

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Need Sleep Now?

A common sign of depression is sleep disturbance, not being able to fall asleep as well as waking up one or several times during the night or waking up before you are ready to wake up. It's also a common sign of a new baby in the house, worrying about something, feeling stressed and anxious, and various other things similar to what I've listed. This exercise is excellent although it will take some practice and patience. You can't do it once or twice and give up because you don't think it's going to work. This article explains why it will work for just about everything except someone snoring very loudly right next to you or living within feet of  train tracks and it's a much better solution than drugs that can be addicting like Ambien. Now, if your doctor prescribes Ambien for you please take it. You should do what your medical doctor tells you to do. However, you might also give this exercise a try and see how it goes. Good sleep is essential for good mental health. If you aren't getting enough sleep your symptoms will likely increase, not decrease, something you should avoid if at all possible....

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