As a therapist and a writer I know we tell ourselves stories about our lives and who we are in the stories of our lives. They are inaccurate stories because our brains hang on to negative experiences longer or better than positive experiences. We have a lopsided view of who we are. This is an interesting article about changing your story... https://ideas.ted.com/what-old-story-about-yourself-are-you-still-believing-heres-how-to-find-it-and-change-it/?utm_source=pocket&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pockethits
Apparently not, although I never would have thought so. Check this out, meditation is for many but not for everyone. Click here to read an interesting article: Meditation Is a Powerful Mental Tool and For Some People It Goes Terribly Wrong
In Family Systems Theory, triangulation is when any two people form a stronger bond with each other against a third person. There are so many family combinations of mom/mom or mom/dad or dad/dad or grandma/dad and so on that I couldn’t possibly address all of them. When two nouns are needed, I’m going to use mom and dad. When just one noun is required, I’ll say the person, but if it’s two, I’ll use mom, dad, and child/ren. You can apply your own labels suitable for your family system once you see the pattern. Here is a list of some of the possibilities: Child and mom form a stronger alliance than mom’s alliance with dad, which drives dad away. One spouse, after the divorce, deliberately communicates messages to the child that indicate the other parent is inferior or the first parent is so much better, loves the child more, etc. A child cultivates a relationship with the biological parent and shuns the stepparent. A stepparent shuns the child and cultivates her relationship with her new partner. Grandma and child against grandma’s child, the parent. This example covers much of what triangulation is all about. It is a family system where...
Please read yesterday's post first and then this second half: you so you got punished for getting bad grades, and more but you get the drift, you were taught to hate yourself because, after all, would any of the loving people in their lives do anything to deliberately hurt them unless they were disgusting and not deserving of love. You, through no fault of your own, became a self-hater and self-haters project the self-hate out onto other people and then believe that others find you disgusting so you can find them disgusting back and them’s fighting words. If we could create a sea of mothers who, in the same decade, gave birth to children that they then protected and loved and nurtured, we could turn the world around. Those that are loved learn to love themselves and those that love themselves are able to love others.
Yes, this program professes to "clean sweep your life". It's very interesting and can give you some ideas and insight into what gets in your way to success. betterme.org/cleansweep.html
Do you sometimes dread going somewhere because "you won't know what to say". This can be any type of situation from family gatherings to office meetings. You know once you begin talking to people you're fine and even enjoy yourself. The first sentence or two is jumping into a pool filled with icy mountain runoff, so cold it's painful. Once you begin paddling around, using your arms and legs you discover you're fine. The same process applies to social phobia. Jump in and start swimming. Here is a page of 101 conversation starters. Print out a "cheat sheet" before you go and choose one or two to memorize so you'll find it quite easy, with a little practice, to go wherever you want to go, without anxiety about how to begin a conversation. http://www.towerofpower.com.au/101-conversation-starters