Step-Families and Triangulation in General

In Family Systems Theory, triangulation is when any two people form a stronger bond with each other against a third person. There are so many family combinations of mom/mom or mom/dad or dad/dad or grandma/dad and so on that I couldn’t possibly address all of them. When two nouns are needed, I’m going to use mom and dad. When just one noun is required, I’ll say the person, but if it’s two, I’ll use mom, dad, and child/ren. You can apply your own labels suitable for your family system once you see the pattern. Here is a list of some of the possibilities: Child and mom form a stronger alliance than mom’s alliance with dad, which drives dad away. One...

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About You Part Two, final

Please read yesterday's post first and then this second half:     you so you got punished for getting bad grades, and more but you get the drift, you were taught to hate yourself because, after all, would any of the loving people in their lives do anything to deliberately hurt them unless they were disgusting and not deserving of love. You, through no fault of your own, became a self-hater and self-haters project the self-hate out onto other people and then believe that others find you disgusting so you can find them disgusting back and them’s fighting words. If we could create a sea of mothers who, in the same decade, gave birth to children that they then protected...

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Social Phobia or I Won’t Have Anything to Say.

Do you sometimes dread going somewhere because "you won't know what to say". This can be any type of situation from family gatherings to office meetings. You know once you begin talking to people you're fine and even enjoy yourself. The first sentence or two is jumping into a pool filled with icy mountain runoff, so cold it's painful. Once you begin paddling around, using your arms and legs you discover you're fine. The same process applies to social phobia. Jump in and start swimming. Here is a page of 101 conversation starters. Print out a "cheat sheet" before you go and choose one or two to memorize so you'll find it quite easy, with a little practice, to go...

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A Free Benefit? Really?

Yes, according to scientific data there is one thing we can do that has many positive benefits and doesn't cost a dime. Unfortunately, many people don't take even fifteen minutes a day to do it. Yes, you're busy, yes it's boring (maybe), yes to all the reasons why it just doesn't happen in your life. Read this and hopefully it will change your mind.   https://qz.com/592569/a-neuroscientist-says-theres-a-powerful-benefit-to-exercise-that-is-rarely-discussed/  

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Do You Remember Your Life? Probably Not.

“When you feel happy, really happy, it somehow seems that you’ve always been happy and that you’ll always be happy. The same is often true when you feel sad, or lonely, or depressed, or broke, or sick, or scared. Something, perhaps, to remember.” —Notes From The Universe It's bad enough to feel depressed, anxious, insecure, jealous, fearful, without believing you've been this way more often than not during your lifetime. How often has someone told you they were born to be unhappy or to have problems or some version of those that indicate the person's perception of themselves and their lives is very negative? With few exceptions they're probably wrong. Science and brain imaging are now able to prove that...

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