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Category: Addictions

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? WHAT MAKES YOUR PARTNER HAPPY?

March 18, 2015
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| Categories: Addictions, Aging, Anxiety, Creativity, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

If you’re not mean to your partner it’s up to her to make herself happy. You can’t make another person happy. It’s not the same as giving a gift or a surprise birthday party, which do make people happy in the moment. I’m talking about another adult who is  chronically unhappy. You say, “Nice day”. They say, “What did you mean by that?” Go on about your day. Happiness with life in general is up to each of us to give ourselves. How do I give myself happiness? You’re thinking. We’ve all heard from all kinds of sources that we should live in the moment, practice mindfulness, forgive others, meditate, live in the present not the past or the future. And now be aware that whomever wrote or said those things made themselves happy by doing them. One or more of those things may make you happy too or none of them are what you need to make yourself happy so don’t do them. They make someone else happy not you. Make yourself happy by considering what you, yes; you actually want to do when you’re not working to pay for doing more of it. Forget about what you should...

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HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ALCOHOLIC AND A SOCIAL DRINKER

November 20, 2014
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| Categories: Addictions, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

This might seem like a no brainer but it really isn't. There are plenty of functional alcoholics walking around looking like they're social drinkers. Why should you care you ask? You should care because you don't want him to be your baby's father or mother, don't want him to be the man/woman you fall in love with, don't want to waste days, months, years to discover you've invested in a relationship where the next drink is more important than you are, don't want to get used or abused, don't want to go broke trying to fix someone. Enough? O.K. Here's how you can tell the difference between an alcoholic and a social drinker: As opposed to a social drinker an alcoholic 1. Wouldn't consider leaving half a glass of wine on the table, they'd drink up and order another or plan to go somewhere else that drinks are being served. 2. Thinks every party, birthday (even for the three year old), picnic, walk, event, lunch, dinner (and breakfast but you won't know), movie, sporting event live or on TV and just about every other activity is a time alcohol should be served and not a little but a lot. 3....

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SEVEN REASONS WHY SOBER IS SEXY

October 27, 2014
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| Categories: Addictions, Personal Growth

We've all been in situations where someone around us is drunk or high on drugs, prescription or illegal, and we have to listen to them or drive them somewhere or they're in our house and we can't get away and they are just stupid and obnoxious. Don't you just love it when someone whose brain is clearly not firing on all pistons is telling  you in a too loud voice about something they have just become the world's expert on or, even better, when you happen to be the recipient of why their lives are so horrible, their luck so bad, their sadness so unbearable that they have to slur their words and drink more just so you'll understand and maybe even start crying, the blubbering kind of crying while they tell you because they know you really want to know? Oh, and then there are the ones who think they're so sexy they just can't believe their good fortune at being the sexiest woman or man at the party or in the bar or restaurant or anywhere they think it's perfectly appropriate to get up close and personal, bad breath and all, to let you know just what they...

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SUFFERING

April 30, 2014
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| Categories: Addictions, Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships, Seniors, Transitions, Trauma

“The foundation of all mental illness is the avoidance of legitimate suffering.” -Carl Jung No one who is suffering wants to be told that their suffering is legitimate suffering. Mentally Healthy people want the suffering to stop, want to return to a mental place where they are no longer suffering. If you are looking for a sign or a guide, this post will help you. That makes sense. Emotional suffering can be just as awful as physical suffering. I can tell someone that their suffering won’t last, that even if they do nothing a better day will come or, at the very least, they will grow and learn new ways to be that are more rewarding  but no one has ever skipped out of my office praising the virtues of suffering no matter what I say to them. Still, Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, made a good point with his statement. Suffering is part of the human condition. No one escapes suffering. The question is what is legitimate suffering? Here’s a partial list: 1. You lost a loved one to death, divorce, or illness. 2. You lost something you valued, a job, a home, a pet. 3. You...

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